Amy Winehouse Faces Assault Charges

The Magistrates Court in UK’s City of Westminster managed to wrangle up that mess of a human known as Amy Winehouse long enough to stifle a coherent posture during a 15-minute hearing Tuesday, stemming from assault charges brought against her.

The crooner plead not guilty to common assault charges pressed by Sherene Flash, a socialite who claims Winehouse attacked her in Sep. 2008 at a Berkeley Sqaure party. With shit like that to answer for, you know she took an extra hit off the crack pipe before entering the house of justice!

Hmm…I wonder if the court is allowed to consider these prior events as evidence of her psychotic, angry, and as witnessed, often aggressive physical behavior!?

If my name was chief magistrate Timothy Workman, a decision in this case would be reached rather quickly–undoubtedly naming Winehouse guilty to the fullest extent possible under British law.

It’s just too bad that probably won’t include an “extermination” shot normally administered to rabid possum and virulent beasts by local critter control police.