Britney Spears Got Fucked Wheelbarrow Style

J.R. Rotem, the music producer who caught Britney Spears on the rebound after she booted K-Fed, has reportedly confessed to Blender magazine the various positions in which he fucked Brit, including “wheelbarrow” style:

“I fucked Britney wheelbarrow style.” Jonathan “J.R.” Rotem is holding court at his Beluga Heights studio in West Hollywood, California. The music producer is wearing enormous silver Elvis sunglasses and a diamond-encrusted keyboard around his neck; his hair glistens like a bird in an oil spill. To the audience clustered around his couch - his manager Zach Katz, two cameramen filming a reality-show pilot, Denaun Porter of hip-hop group D12 - Rotem offers a series of impromptu non sequiturs: “I have a fear of germs”; “I don’t invest in real estate, I invest in jewelry”; “I’m a Leo, a lion”; “I’ve seen Zoolander 100 times”; and, finally, “I fucked Britney wheelbarrow style. Just kidding.”

He waits a beat. “It was tractor style.” You may recall Rotem’s name and/or hair from the gossip blogs. Back in December, five weeks after Spears sent Kevin Federline packing from Malibu to the Valley, sandwiched somewhere in the midst of her cataclysmic mental mudslide - between paparazzi shots of her bald beaver and her nude noggin - grainy footage appeared of the postpartum pop star climbing onto Rotem’s lap, cigarette in hand, leaning in for a kiss. They had been working together on her next record and capped the night with the Cameron Diaz chick flick The Holiday - and some curbside canoodling. Back at Beluga Heights, Rotem’s old friend Porter presses him for salacious details about that night.

“How did you do that?” the rapper asks, slapping his thigh in disbelief. “I heard she’s on the wild side. Is that true?” The cameramen exchange excited glances. Whether out of respect for Spears or concern for his career, Rotem clams up. His right foot twitches; his knuckles whiten on the arm of the leather couch.

An awkward silence creeps in. “We were working in the studio together,” Rotem replies flatly, trying to bring the conversation to a halt. He ventures something about a sampling machine. But Porter just ignores him: “You are a hound dog!” he shouts. “I remember when he get no pussy. Now he gettin all kind of pussy. I was watching E! and I saw this nigga walk in, and I was like - That’s J.R.!“

I guess Britney really does love the cock.