1. Chuck Norris once had sex with a cigarette machine in the Osaka airport.
2. Chuck Norris doesn’t own a can opener, he just chews through the can.
3. In the beginning there was nothing…then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said “Get a job”. That is the story of the universe.
4. Chuck norris doesnt go at the speed of light, he goes at the speed of Norris
5. The crossing lights in Chuck Norris’s home town say “Die slowly” and “Die Quickly”. They each have a picture of Chuck Norris punching or kicking a pedestrian.
6. Chuck Norris doesn’t stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks./p>
7. While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.
8. Guantuanamo Bay, Cuba, is the military code-word for “Chuck Norris’ basement”.
9. When Chuck Norris goes to Vegas, he doesn’t have to gamble. The casinos just give him stacks of money.
10. Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are known today as Giraffes.
