Crackhead Skank Denied U.S. Visa

Amy Winehouse was denied a U.S. Visa today, barring the mangy animal from attending this Sunday’s Grammy Awards, most likely because she’s a dirty crack hooker.

Amy Winehouse will not perform at the Grammy Awards this weekend because she’s been refused permission to touch down on American soil, according to her publicist “The singer has been invited to appear at the event on Sunday after receiving an amazing six nominations for the prestigious awards,” reads a statement issued by her publicist on Thursday. “Unfortunately, her application for a visa to enter the United States of America has been rejected at this time by the American Embassy in London.

Besides the fact that all children, small dogs, and elderly people would be in danger of contamination upon Amy’s arrival, the heroin supply here in America would also fall to an extreme low. Best keep her out until she O.D.’s in some dirty London flat with Pete Doherty.