Gyllenhaal Is Tagging Witherspoon

The sex romps between rumored gay Jake Gyllenhaal and Reese Witherspoon have been confirmed, and now it seems they (the gays) are simply hoping for a bisexual orientation. Although I do find it funny that he’s banging little Reese, I wouldn’t hit it cause she has kids and I’d probably get sucked in to marriage, but that’s something that probably won’t be dealt with. Here’s what the Post Chronicle says:

Reese Witherspoon is having a “definite romance” with Jake Gyllenhaal. Despite earlier reports claiming that the ‘Walk the Line’ actress was merely “trying out a courtship” with heartthrob Jake, friends close to Reese insist they are an item. A source told Us Weekly magazine: “Jake doesn’t want a party girl at all. “Reese is perfect because she understands the business and also the importance of family. Plus, he admires her talent, thinks she is beautiful and he respects her values. He respects everything about her actually.”

So there you have it…sorry that you won’t get be getting any ass from Witherspoon for awhile. If you like dudes, now you know Gyllenhaal isn’t going to hook up with you.