Jared Leto Is A Loser

My prediction on the true nature of Jared Leto’s concert injuries are strangely accurate! Less than a week ago Leto and his band 30 Seconds To Mars did a show in El Paso in which the emo rocker sustained a broken nose and other injuries after jumping into the crowd. That’s when I proclaimed that his fans are nothing but little girls, and any guy attending that concert was most likely forced by a chick, or is a pedophile staring at preteens. Apparently the true story is, nobody caught his dumb ass when he leaped, which goes along with my prediction. They tried playing it off like he was injured after fans bum rushed him on the ground. Here’s what Page Six says:

EYELINER-loving Jared Leto injured not only his face during a 30 Seconds to Mars concert in El Paso, Texas, last Thursday night - our spies said his pride is hurt as well. Reports of the actor/rocker’s broken nose and injured foot emerged yesterday, but our sources said it was a stage leap - not a mad rush of fans - that caused his bruises. “He flung himself directly off the stage into the crowd,” said our spy, “and nobody in the crowd caught him.” The audience member add- ed, “We were given no warning. Jared landed really hard on the ground, and people were accidentally stepping on him.” Security helped him back to the stage. Leto and his band will perform in Miami on Friday and deejay afterward for the birthday of his brother, who is in the band, at Cameo nightclub. A rep for Leto insisted, “Jared did not jump onto the crowd. He went into the audience while singing ‘The Kill.’ His injuries were a result of the crowd rushing towards him in their excitement to be close to him.”

Catch that Miami? An emo rocker will be tainting the air on Friday, so bring your bags of flaming dog shit and prepare to assault the stage!