Jessica Simpson Is Banging John Mayer

We know, you would have never fuckin’ guessed that these two would end up together. But it’s true, and the story was first broke by National Enquirer. John Mayer is sticking it in both of Jessica Simpson’s holes.

Apparently the couple hasn’t spoke up about the claims, however both are ill with laryngitis confirmed by each star’s multiple canceled shows. Cute…they gave each other a virus.

All I can say is, I’d hate to see this relationship last to the point where a very ugly child is born. Can you imagine how much that kid is going to suffer?

Hit it and quit it, Johnny. Hit it and quit it.