Tainted Cake

Paris Hilton was in Las Vegas on Saturday celebrating Benji Madden’s birthday at LAX, spotted with her fake diamond engagement ring, complete with his initials “BM.” Paris’ faux-mance with the Good Charlotte rocker is rumored to be intertwined with Ashton Kutcher’s new show “Pop Fiction,” which focuses on punking the media and paparazzi while celebrities partake in the joke.

Hopefully you didn’t eat any of that tainted cake. Paris is so infested with disease that merely breathing the same air she exhaled is enough to get you sick.