Paris Hilton Trying Too Hard

In a desperate bid to dodge her nearly month long jail sentence, Paris Hilton has begun a spiritual journey that can only lead to one place — back to the 6th grade to re-learn vocabulary and reading comprehension. I hate people that turn spiritual merely out of desperation, and to top it off, Paris Hilton can’t even read…so please tell me why they let her purchase these books.

The hotel heiress - who has been sentenced to 23 days in jail for driving with a suspended licence - was seen in Hollywood’s Bodhi Tree bookstore picking up a spiritual tome. Earlier this week, ‘The Simple Life’ star was spotted clutching the Bible and a self-help manual. Lawyers for Paris, 26, have told the socialite she needs to “live like a nun” if she has any chance of evading jail. Paris has told friends she is quitting alcohol and partying and has replaced her skimpy outfits with a new demure look.

Keep praying that Paris’ butthole is violated daily while locked up.

(source)