Shitty Emo Band Storms Sundance

Jared Leto’s emo band, 30 Seconds To Mars performed at the Sundance festival this weekend in Park City, however, the reason why seems to elude me. An actor turned musician (Jordan Catalano anyone?) these guys are the 2,394th act in this genre of music, which can be emulated easily by performing the following steps:

1. Turn yourself white, by either hiding from the sun, or powdering your face with some white shit. (I hear baking powder works great.)

2. Paint your fingernails black, dye your hair black, and buy black clothes (including shoes and socks.)

3. Use some black eyeliner and make sure to have at minimum, 5 piercings.

4. Find 3 other douchebags to join you on stage while the lead singer screams like a bitch into the microphone, hoping that at least one pre-teen girl in the audience understands your depressingly wrought lyrics.

That about sums it up! A bunch of old guys dancing around in tight black clothes and makeup, screaming to little girls. So, those of you looking to start a new emo band can easily rise to fame by practicing the above. Hit the jump for video evidence supporting these claims!

Below is a video showing how badly 30 Seconds To Mars sucks live. The footage basically consists of 10 to 14 year-old girls singing along with crooner-bitch Leto. See the photo at top for more proof.

Let us end with this well put quote-me:

I’m not alone in this. It’s this sea of mediocrity we’re forced to wade in. I don’t know if its because I’m getting older and we’re at the beginning part where the commercial world is beginning to phase us out- like they’re no longer kissing our asses about everything- they’re kissing the asses of younger people. So yeah, I reserve the right to say Jared Leto and 30 Seconds To Mars sucks. Robert Plant would never wear mascara like that.