Snakes Is Motherfuckin’ Fireproof

“Snakes On A Plane” closed the weekend box office at just over $15 million, making its way to the number one spot!

But what did the critics think? New Line made sure the movie was not screened before the big release Friday…maybe it paid off!?

A short synoptic review by James B!

Samuel L. Jackson is on record as saying this movie isn’t for critics. He’s right about that. The problem is, it’s not for many other people, either. Unless they’re stoned. Or drunk. Or just enjoy making fun of bad movies (in other words, the Mystery Science Theater 3000 audience). Most of the time, when a studio decides to hide a film from critics, they do so on the sly. With Snakes on a Plane, New Line Cinema has trumpeted the fact, using this marketing line: “We want the fans to see it first.” Translation: we don’t want any negative advance word spoiling a big opening day. They needn’t have worried, however. Critics could spew bile in reviews, and it wouldn’t make a bit of difference at the box office. Snakes on a Plane is motherfuckin’ fireproof. Director David Ellis has made the film he was hired to make.

I won’t deny there’s fun to be had watching Snakes on a Plane. With a title like that, how could there not be? The special effects are suitably cheesy, the acting is way over-the-top, and there are some great moments of lowbrow comedy. (Man or woman, imagine where you would least like to be bitten by a snake, and someone gets bitten there.) One could argue that the audience makes the movie. I would imagine this film could seem terribly lame seen in an empty theater or at home alone. A certain amount of rowdiness is almost a prerequisite.

To an extent, Snakes on a Plane reminds me of Eight Legged Freaks. It has the same kind of off-the-wall, don’t-take-it-seriously comedic horror sensibility. Neither film holds a candle to the best in the business, Tremors, which offers healthy doses of scares and laughs. New Line Cinema would like us to believe that Snakes on a Plane is somehow a “cultural phenomenon.” This isn’t accurate. There’s another, better term to describe it: a cult film. That means a small, select group of people are going to love it, but the majority of viewers are going to be unimpressed. Take that into consideration before deciding whether or not to board this flight.

Check the full review to read everything.

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