PROTIP: if you work at a car wash, be certain NOT to wear a warm, pretty little scarf around your neck if duties require contact with those large spinning brushes!
Today’s failure comes in the form of female Golden Nozzle car wash employee Stephanie Carpluk. The obvious lack in brain processing capability Steph operates with in this life was manifested yesterday after the spinning brush gobbled up her scarf–which quickly knocked this idiot unconscious and headed straight for a Darwin Award!
However, luckily for her, an Irishman named John O’Leary was present, who noticed the commotion, and before dying of laughter, leapt into action armed with a Swiss Army knife, slashing Stephanie free! This dude then knew how to give proper CPR which returned life to her body, unfortunately.
I’m almost positive Earth would’ve remained better off if John simply stared and cackled in a state of shockingly-curious awe. After passing through the other side, he could’ve then simply laughed some more (’cause you know witnessing that shit would be epic) while driving off as if he’d seen nothing at all!
