Help Choose The Year’s #1 Attention Whore

A*tten*tion Whore - A pervasive pattern of excessive emotionality and attention seeking, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:

1. Is uncomfortable in situations in which he or she is not the center of attention
2. Interaction with others is often characterized by inappropriate sexually seductive or provocative behavior
3. Displays rapidly shifting and shallow expression of emotions
4. Consistently uses physical appearance to draw attention to self
5. has a style of speech that is excessively impressionistic and lacking in detail
6. Shows self-dramatization, theatricality, and exaggerated expression of emotion
7. Is suggestible, i.e., easily influenced by others or circumstances
8. Considers relationships to be more intimate than they actually are.

With 2007 upon us, the time has come to vote for our first annual attention whore of the year! Which Hollywood starlet will be crowned #1? Help us decide who deserves to be named 2006’s “Attention Whore Of The Year!” Vote now above. Results will be tallied on Jan. 2nd, 2007 at 12:01 A.M., with the winner announced later that day in a feature post.

Need help deciding who to pick? Check out the whore profiles below when you keep reading!

Arguably one of the top contenders, Lindsay Lohan has pulled off quite a few remarkable attention-seeking activities this past year, causing outrage amongst divas and ex-Vice Presidents alike. Pick a color and Lohan has the bikini. She also broke her “wrist”, which was probably feigned so her latenight partying wouldn’t be interrupted with work. Remember when she got owned by her boss? In addition to the (seemingly) never-ending list here, none of us can ignore the numerous upskirts Lindsay coordinated for the sake of making her fiery vagina famous worldwide. These are definitely NSFW, click with caution! She also enjoyed showing her tits off as well. More recently, Lindsay developed psychotic thoughts and put on a rather amusing display of public insanity. All the while she was attending AA class, in what seems to be a publicity stunt…but I’m not sure who she’s fooling.

Where do I start with our newest member of the upskirt club, Ms. Britney Spears!? Since I mentioned upskirt, we might as well recapitulate the madness that is Britney’s vagina. It all started when she began hanging with parasite…at first these two seemed inseparable as they partied nightly for a consecutive two-week period…but as the adage goes, all good things must come to an end. Luckily, we did manage to get a peek at something every male in the world fantasized about one time or another - Britney Spears’ vagina! All that coaching from Paris paid off big when Brit flashed her goods not once, not twice…and not even three times. Fuck, she gave us so many shots of her pussy that I’ve lost count. NSFW applies here once again. So, what turned Britney into a frenzied party animal? She did complete pregnancy number two after the birth of her second son, Jayden James. Shortly after, the thoughtless marriage to rap’s biggest joke, Kevin Federline, began to fizzle and divorce now looms on Brit’s horizon. Things may get ugly as rumors over a raunchy sex tape took flight, and blackmail seems to be K-Fed’s weapon of choice. Despite Britney’s year of drunkenness, debauchery, and divorce…she still found it in her to spark a new romance, and take younger sister Jamie Lynn to her first tattoo parlor. Britney sure has some work to do if she wants to turn her career around in 2007. Becoming the biggest attention whore wouldn’t hurt either.

If we’d only existed last year, Paris Hilton would be the number one attention whore of ‘06. This year however, competition is fierce. Paris thought she was talented at one point by recording an album that sucked more than her own mouth! She managed to flash a titty during one video shoot, and seduced a teenager in another. But Paris’ whore tendencies don’t stop there, as she also provided panty-less crotch shots…you guessed it, NSFW. Since she already has a sex tape out, there isn’t much more Paris can do to increase her status as a giant fucking skankbag. Where there’s a will…Travis Barker’s become dicky rides. This eventually led to the Shanna Moakler vs. Paris Hilton squabble at club Hyde. Her fun at police stations doesn’t stop there, Paris was also busted, cuffed, and jailed for driving under the influence. She also broke the law on a couple other occasions, but nobody knows about that. So will we see more of Paris in 2007, or will her reign as a professional attention whore begin to falter? I doubt she will fade away in this decade, but at least there’s hope.

Still left wondering exactly why Nicole Richie is famous, her desperate attempts at seeking attention aren’t mindful in the slightest regard. Nicole has been battling an eating disorder for over a year, which has turned her body into nothing more than a skeleton with tainted skin. If you can ignore that tidbit (and you’re a male) then ask yourself what every attention whore has in common! That’s right, upskirts and booty shots are never absent amongst these starlets! After Nicole was dumped by Brody Jenner, she was left with nearly no friends until her ex-bff parasite gave her a ring to rekindle their former relationship. Often times Nicole can be seen putting on a show for the paparazzi by eating…gasp…fast food! Once again, I doubt anyone is fooled. Her latest antics include a widely publicized DUI arrest, which racks her total intoxicated offense’s to two - requiring mandatory jail time! After being high on vicodin and marijuana while drunk driving the wrong way on Highway 134, I’d call the legal system garbage if this stain on human society is vindicated. Lock her up!